


Cas' Kisses

by Eternallydeancas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Nightmares, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 15:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1515134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternallydeancas/pseuds/Eternallydeancas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Partially Canon divergent- Cas and Dean are together and getting ready to adopt a little boy.  Cas helps Dean feel better in the only way he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas' Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching 8.13 tonight and I thought about how Dean, if Emma hadn't been homicidal, probably would have taken her on. He would have been a father to her and he would have tried to do at least half a better job than John did with him. He would have raised her like he did Sam (And Sammy turned out pretty damn well, imho). But, as with everything else, I'm also sure he harbors a lot of guilt about her. This is the result...Hope you enjoy!

 

It started the night they signed the adoption papers.  Cas was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, thinking about their new son and the fact that he was going to be a father.  Perhaps not biologically but, according to Dean, blood had very little to do with anything.  Anyway, as the ex-angel went about swishing the awful blue stuff that served as mouth wash and rinsing his mouth, he heard a strangled groaning coming from their bedroom.

            “Dean?” No response.  Cas shook his head and cleaned up the sink before switching off the light.  It was almost two in the morning and if Dean thought he could bait him into sex when he was _this_ tired, the man had another thing coming.

Back in the bedroom, his lamp was still lit – strange because Dean usually couldn’t sleep with a light on.  However, there his hunter was, clutching a pillow under his chin, his breathing slow and even in slumber.  Cas’ heart swelled at the sight.  In the years he’d known the Winchesters, seeing them vulnerable, their defenses down, warmed him most. They were completely human in this act, allowing their bodies to succumb to exhaustion.

            “ _No,_ ” Dean murmured into the pillow.  “No, don’t! _Stop!_ ” He began to thrash around, clocking Cas just below the eye and tossing the pillow from the bed.

            “Dean! Dean, babe, wake up!  _Dean!_ ”

Green eyes met blue at the sound of Cas’ voice and the flurry of movement ceased, save for Dean’s chest, which heaved in the aftermath of his episode.  Immediately, Cas’ arms closed around his husband, consoling words spilling from his lips in between soft kisses. 

Cas was used to this.  The first year of their relationship consisted of worse nights, nights where incredulity was surpassed by angry paranoia.  Even after five years of retirement, neither of them could really be sure they were in the clear.  The hunt would never fully be over, regardless of the lack of activity.  And it always followed them into their dreams, tinging the happy scenes with horrific nightmares.

            “Sammy.  He.  Xavier.  Emma,” was all Dean could spit out before he let his forehead drop onto Cas’ shoulder.  The ex-angel shushed him and rubbed slow circles across his back.  When Dean felt composed enough to speak again, he shifted so his mouth was free of Cas’ cotton shirt and spoke.

            “I had a daughter once.  When you were,” Dean clears his throat of any residual tears and his voice deepens, “gone.  She was an Amazonian warrior.  I didn’t get to know her. She was going to kill me.  I couldn’t do it, so Sam did.”

Cas tightened his grip around him and kissed his temple, wishing not for the first time that he could just _use his mojo_ , as Dean so kindly puts it, to erase his pain.  But he can’t. So he has his arms and his lips and his words to lessen life’s blows.

            “In the dream, we picked up Xavier from a soccer match.  He was all sweaty and excited about his team winning, asking you – he called you ‘pops’, by the way – if you saw his last shot at the net, when Emma and Sam appeared.  Emma just had this look in her eyes like I’d, well, like I’d killed her. She asked why she wasn’t enough for me but our kid was. That’s when Sam shook his head and told her Xavier couldn’t stay.  I was going to ask what he meant, but then he had this shotgun and –”

Anguished sobs cut off the rest of the sentence and Cas knows that’s all he’ll get on the subject.  Dean won’t say anymore and when they wake up tomorrow, he’ll act like nothing happened.  This moment of weakness will stay in the confines of their sheets, will be lost in the numerous tumbles they'll take in them later. 

Tonight though, instead of words, Cas answers him in kisses.  He covers Dean’s face in a slow circle, moving painstakingly and deliberate.  His nose, _I’m so sorry about Emma._ Between his eyebrows, _it wasn’t your fault; it had to be done._ His forehead, _Sam saved your life_.  His temples _, Xavier is ours and he’ll be safe here_.  His cheeks and the tears he finds there, _it’s okay.  It’s okay to cry._ His chin, _I’ve got you. None of that was real._ And finally, his lips, _I love you, Dean Winchester. Nothing will ever change that._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment/leave kudos/leave feedback! I crave those things like Dean craves pie. And Cas. 
> 
> Thank you! :)


End file.
